Pattern writing is NOT fun

So, I need to make a scarf pattern for someone to wear at football games....and because it will have obscene language, I am pretty sure I will have to do something on my own rather than find a pattern.

The color scheme will be black and gold (Go Hawks!), so this would also lend itself to shadow knitting....but I don't know how to do that either.

I have found some knitting/chart pattern generators online, but they really don't seem to be working the way I intended. I may have to use graph paper and just do it the old-school way.

I am thinking that intarsia will be a)too much work b)look terrible in the back. Duplicate stitch will be first. A hat with an intarsia border might work ok too.....but might not have the same affect as a scarf.

And why do I care how this looks, since it is a joke after all? I expect my design to be on national tv, as the intended recipient--Russell--is always in the front row at football games.

400 Knitting Stitches : a complete dictionary of essential stitch patterns- review

I had high hopes for this book, and the online reviews looked good. However--it is not something I feel compelled to add to my knitting library.
+lots of interesting patterns, arranged in logical categories
+charts included (not that I care)
+binding lets the book mostly lie flat when you have it open
+18.95 list price is decent

-instructions sort of ramble on and don't have line breaks--so they sort of go like this 1st:blah blah blah. 2th, 7th, 9th rows do this. 3rd do something else.
-no yarn or needle size recommendations--you are just supposed to intuit what would work best
-the title made me think this would be very comprehensive, but there were lots of patterns missing

Check this out from the library before purchasing.

Vogue Knitting Shawls & Wraps - review

As I would expect from Vogue, this is a gorgeous book, with patterns at all skill levels, including the adventurous and the easy (felted shawl). The directions look complete, with charts and written instructions.

The only problem that I see is--many of these projects require numerous skeins of high end yarn (10 skeins of cashmere = $375-500!!!) and if you wanted to exactly replicate the look, it could be beyond expensive. No yarn substitutions are suggested, but since sizing is as important with shawls and wraps, you could probably make adjustments.

At $24.95 list, I'd recommend looking at this at the library first. I will probably try to buy it at a discount so I have enough money left over to buy yarn.

Review-Reversible Knitting by Lynne Barr

This is a beautiful book, great illustrations, very complete instructions, nice photography, which probably explains the $29.95 price. However--I find many of the stitch patterns overly complicated, (19 row repeats!) and flat out ugly. I did like two of the patterns--for a 4 color reversible bag, and for a hat, but in reality--I wouldn't even check this book out from the library.
NOT recommended except for those who really like to experiment.